yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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