got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
