You just made me feel so damn special
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
