You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
