This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
