Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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