She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The power of my boobs compel you
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
