Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
