have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
