Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
