I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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