I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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