in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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