Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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