i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
