Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
