i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize