Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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