so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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