it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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