what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
