Don't you send me to vm
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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