I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
