its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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