playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
