Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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