its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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