It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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