Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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