Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize