I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is the high leading the old right now
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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