Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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