are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
