i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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