Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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