That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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