WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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