I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize