a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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