i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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