i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
