You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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