The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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