Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
