In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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