just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
