kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
