I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
