Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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