i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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