unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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