I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize