Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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