I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize